January 26, 2013
Oak Brook, IL – With the technology age upon us, one thing parents worry about is sending their kids to college to train for the jobs of the future. It’s a daunting proposition given the rising costs of tuition. Always ahead of the curve, McDonald’s Corporation has come up with an answer that addresses these concerns. A big shot executive type guy made a statement today about it at their headquarters.
We have an exciting announcement about the future of our company that involves your children. Today we unveil the McDonald’s Drive Thru Center for children 3 and up. It is safe, educational, and best of all acts as a training tool for the future employment of your kids. The full-service setup teaches your kids how to properly say the words burger, golden fries, and super-size. We know we cannot employ your children until the ages of 15 or 16 in most countries but this toy will give them a leg up on their competition. Ronald McDonald is here today and will be giving away 100 full drive thru kits. Some assembly is required.
“McDonald’s is like the cockroach of our society,” says one industry expert. ”People try to get rid of them. They’ve been left for dead several times but they just keep coming back bigger and stronger. There may be green jobs and a massive technology sector that eliminates thousands of jobs currently in place today. But McDonald’s is not going anywhere. This little toy setup may seem like a crazy idea now but I’m going to buy my kids one. Stay on the right side of the fast food giant with the golden arches and your life will be better for it. That’s what my parents taught me and that’s what I’m going to teach my children. It’s worked out pretty well so far.”
The controversial new toy will be sold exclusively at all Wal-mart locations as well as participating McDonald’s stores. A 5% discount will be offered after purchasing 10 Big Mac meals.