Eugene, OR – Bradley and Jason Hoffman are the proud new parents of a puppy they’ve named ‘Puffy.’ The four month old canine has finally achieved the title of ‘potty trained.’
“Puffy humps my leg when he has to go potty,” explains Bradley. “It’s the oddest thing. Puffy won’t hump Jason, just me. Guess I’m a little more charming,” snickers Bradley. “Then I make Jason take him outside to potty.”
“Yeah no comment on how charming Bradley thinks he is,” quips Jason in a playful kind of way. “I take out the dog because I’m the responsible one in this family. Anyway, the strangest thing happened the other day. Puffy saw snow for the very first time in his young life.”
“Oh lawd, for all that is holy of all poop stories Batman!” interrupts Bradley. I was looking out the window and saw it with my very own eyes. Our precious Puffy got so angry with that snow he just dropped his little buttocks and fired off a legendary bowel movement. To say his poop was the size of a tennis ball would be speaking conservatively. It was bigger than his head and I’m not sure how he got that out of his tiny bottom. I laughed so hard I had to fight off a poopy accident of my own.”
“It was funny,” admits a much more gruff Jason. “It’s kind of like when your grandma falls down the stairs. Your first instinct is to laugh. It’s unavoidable. Then you slowly realize something horrific may have just happened. I’m worried Puffy may have some hardline mental issues.”
The concerned couple, in the past months, have reached out to every dog expert resource they can find. Puffy is currently in an intensive outpatient program, experimenting with anti-depressant and anti-psychotic medications. He is scheduled for electro-shock therapy if this course of action does not work. Puffy’s six month birthday was today. He was offered a treat but chose not to eat it.