Paris – The mideast peace conference in Paris wrapped up on Sunday with Israel’s Prime Minster labeling the time spent as ‘useless.’ He went on to say, “This conference is among the last twitches of yesterday’s world. Tomorrow’s world will be different – and it is very near.”
It is widely assumed that Israel’s Netanyahu is referring to the looming inauguration of United States President-elect Donald Trump. That ceremony will take place this coming Wednesday. Netanyahu would not elaborate further on what he actually meant by these vague and cryptic comments.
French President Hollande, a trusted friend and confidant of Netanyahu, filled in a few of the blanks. “Bennie is just a little depressed and has been on edge lately,” shares Hollande. “He fell asleep standing up during our conference which is very unlike him. As impressive as it is that he can even do this, he does not like to share it with the public. We’ll see what happens with Trump. Honestly, that’s not really the thing getting him down. It’s the news stories. He read an article today about a pussy-grabbing Republican official in Connecticut and Americans saying it must be Trump influenced. No more political correctness and genital grabbing is the new normal, blah blah blah. It’s really getting him down. Where are the Anthony Weiner investigation stories? It doesn’t seem that long ago that Weiner was in the news constantly. Yet it seems a lifetime ago. The headlines were much better than ‘pussy-grabber.’ ‘Weiner gets asked tough questions.’ ‘Weiner being closely investigated by the CIA.’ ‘Weiner’s actions may have cost Hillary the election.’ Ah, so much more fun and light. Sure, the content was just as heavy but it just didn’t seem as serious as it does now. Bennie’s been through a lot. He’ll get through it. The Bush years were the best but that train has run past us already.”
Although the Paris conference was a closed door affair, reports from the inside confirm that most leaders are taking a ‘wait and see’ approach to the incoming Trump administration. Current U.S. Secretary of State John Kerry was seen carrying several Stratego boxes underneath his over-sized black overcoat on the way to his limousine. Hollande, apparently unable to keep many secrets, did concede that the national leaders did spend most of their time playing the wildly popular board game. “Kerry won almost every time,” ended Hollande. “Bastard. We’re all pretty convinced it was rigged.”