Irvine, CA – In a shrewd albeit risky political move, Irvine Mayor Donald P. Wagner is taking the offensive on public restrooms. Wagner and his team have commissioned large amounts of research to be done on the lower urinals in public bathrooms. Their findings, if true, could be the type of bulldog actions needed to drive this ambitious republican to the top of his party in no time.
“A recent gallup poll shows that a maximum of 2% (+ or – 1.5%) of entrants into all public bathrooms end up using these lower rung urinals,” states a Wagner spokesperson. “According to our economists, this is costing California taxpayers millions of dollars. In the United States in may be in the billions or even trillions of dollars. We’re still not quite sure if these low urinals are for midgets, kids, or are there to comply with some sort of ADA regulations. But the facts show they are not being used. Yet they continue to be built in every public restroom. It’s this kind of insanity that put more and more of our citizens out on the streets living in tents.”
MouthFrog conducted it’s own informal poll. Keep in mind responses were short given we interviewed men inside the restroom which is in direct violation of the man code. Here’s what one gentleman offered. “Yeah, I just don’t like it. I’ll use a stall if that little urinal is the only one available. Not sure why, that’s just how I roll.” One other respondent appears to have though about it a bit more. “Nope, won’t use it. My penis seems smaller being so far from it. It’s something about being close to the porcelain that gives me more comfort. There’s also the aiming problem. After I’ve tipped back a few drinks I don’t want to have to worry about my long stream accuracy. There’s always urine on the floor of the public bathrooms. I don’t want to be that guy.”
So it does appear that Mayor Wagner and his adept team of investigators may be onto something here. Men refuse to use them yet they still build them into all public restrooms. Why? Could this really be that impacting to society and our taxpayers? If a public rail was built and no one used it, there would seem to be more outrage that we have for these tiny urinals. It is a perplexing question with certainly more facts left to be revealed. You can weigh in with your opinion on our twitter feed by adding some sort of hashtag or something if you’d like. We’re not completely sure how that works yet.