Lester Holt Shares Surreal Off-Air Banter With Trump

May 19, 2017 • Dumbass of the Week, Events, Features, Life, Uncategorized, Worthy News

Mar-a-lago (The Southern White House) – Lester Holt, of NBC News, recently conducted an interview with President Trump that can only be described as spectacular.  The embattled Trump called his fired FBI Director James Comey a ‘showboat’ and a ‘grandstander.’  This is the same man (Comey) who has been profiled as attempting to hide from President Trump while they were in the same room.  This ‘showboat’ reportedly tried to blend in with curtains that were the same color as his suit in a weak attempt at camouflage.  Mind you this is, or was, our FBI head.

And if this were the only thing to come out of that interview that would have been outstanding.  The off-air banter between Holt and Trump, which was recently released, simply put is gold.  Gold on top of gold.  Enjoy.

Holt:  Mr. President, can I follow up with you on a few items we covered?  The camera is not rolling.

Trump:  Lester.  Look, I fire people.  That’s what I do.  Haven’t you watched The Apprentice?  Let’s talk brass tax, Lester.  You report fake news so I’m going to give you some fake news.  Or maybe it’s real.  You decide.  Do you watch the news, Lester?  Do you watch yourself?  I do.  You’re definitely no Sean Hannity…

Holt:  Mr. President.  Can I please ask you a few more questions about Director Comey?

Trump:  Ok, brass tax, Lester.  I like you so let’s talk.  This is all about names, you know?  You’re a semi-successful newsman and it’s because of your name.  You have some good words that rhyme with Holt.  You’ve got bolt, colt, jolt and well dolt.  That last one is not good but you’ve got three that are strong words.  ‘Dolt’ is holding you back but overall you’re good.  And you’re kind of black too.  That doesn’t help but at least you’re not too black.   Now let’s take Comey.  What’s he got?  Homey?  Like Homey da Clown?  This man had to be fired.

Holt:  Mr. President this is fascinating but…

Trump:  Now let’s take me.  Trump, bump, hump, rump, dump, pump.  I couldn’t even name them all.  And Forest Gump?  Yeah, that’s my favorite.  It’s a simple measure of success which makes it clear I am and will be the most successful of all time.  Can you come up with good word rhymes for Clinton?  Obama?  Reagan?  Nixon?  Please.  Now, what was your question?

Holt:  This is really the reason you fired Director Comey?

Trump:  Look, Comey and I sat down and had a fine dinner.  It was at one of the top 5 restaurants.  Very expensive.  Very exclusive.  The finest service with probably the finest looking waitresses of any eating establishment.  He ordered the duck a l’orange and we immediately had a problem.  I love ducks, don’t get me wrong.  The University of Oregon call themselves ducks.  Phil Knight is a gigantic booster at that school.  Very wealthy.  He and I are great friends.  We’ve done deals together.  Big deals.  He is a deal broker and I’m a deal maker.  He has great respect for me.

Lester Holt explains that he got up and left the Trump estate at that point.  “When I closed the front door he was still talking,” continues Holt.  “He as saying something about God, genes, and his children but I couldn’t quite make it out.  I can tell you this after spending 3 hours with the man.  He’s either the most clever and coherent person I’ve ever met or the most maniacal and delusional.  I suppose we’ll all find out soon enough.”


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