San Diego, CA – In a sign of our troubled times, legendary inter web startup GoFundMe has taken a step no one could have conceived. Chairman and CEO, Rob Solomon, shares that the once unique idea that brought in millions in revenue is close to bankruptcy.
“Yeah, it’s not something we ever thought would happen,” explains Solomon. “Times are tough and competition to gain marketshare for internet revenue is becoming increasingly difficult. We’re seeking the good will of those that have benefited from our site in the past to help us out and keep this thing going. If we don’t raise 10 million dollars by the end of this quarter we’ll be done. It’s been a great ride and we have so many great stories to tell but we need money to keep this train rolling. I’m confident our clients will step up to help us.”
Chief Financial Officer, Hoang Vuong, is not as politically correct in his description and assessment of the company’s future. “We’re screwed,” asserts Vuong. “We started this company so that kids with cancer could get financial help. I saw a fucking page the other day that had raised $19,000 for some crazy cat lady to get her 8 cats bleached white. Another guy got $8,500 so that he could stock up on his allergy medications. What the hell is going on? I’ve always contended we need to pull that shit down but Mr. CEO says keep it up because it’s still revenue for us. Our reputation and credibility has been ruined. It’s over.”
Vuong has reportedly been put on paid administrative leave but those reports are unconfirmed. GoFundMe‘s page to raise funds for itself is currently sitting at $123 dollars. It’s only been up on the site for one week so there may still be hope. Solomon hopes that a solid marketing campaign and some positive press will push clients of the site to donate.
“If we don’t make it, then it’s meant to be,” concludes Solomon. “I’ll feel for all of our hard working employees who will no longer have jobs. I can only hope that there will be some other mechanism that helps people to donate money to each other. Who knows. I’m an optimist so I don’t have any worries about things playing out the way they are supposed to.”
If you care to donate, the referenced page can be located at GoFundMe.com/helpusfukrs. The minimum dollar amount you can donate has been raised to $1000.