All Impeachment Models Point To Rosebud Janis Becoming President

May 22, 2017 • Events, Features, General, Life, Uncategorized, Worthy News

Mesa, AZ – President Donald Trump is facing some pretty serious allegations that appear to gain more credibility each day.  It is also widely believed that Trump has carefully selected government officials that know what he knows but are in the ‘inner circle’ to protect his interests.  It may be Russian tampering, national security leaks, or some other salacious act that no one is aware of yet.  It’s now believed by many that Trump will be impeached.  The ‘how’ is irrelevant but the ‘when’ and ‘who’ presents a fascinating look into America’s future.

All European and American impeachment models project that President Trump will be expelled from office by August 1st, 2017.  This is not the ultimate surprise these models project.  The shocking details of the impeachment domino effect show that every current government official in Washington will also either be impeached or will resign.  The order of precedence will put the lowest ranking government official in the White House in the history of the United States.

Rosebud Janis, fifth district assembly woman in Arizona, is predicted to be sworn in as President on September 4th, 2017.  We caught up with Janis at a Wal-Mart within her district shopping for bicycle helmets.

“I don’t even think I can be President,” says Janis.  “I’m a single mother with a high school education.  And I drink a lot.  I mean I really drink a lot.  This bike helmet is actually for me to wear around the house when I’m boozing it up.  I’ve fallen down and cracked my head open twice within the past 6 months.  I mean, I guess I’d do it if there was no one else.  They get full coverage health insurance, right?  Yeah, maybe I could do it.”

Several top hedge fund managers are already forming super PAC’s to try and get the upper hand early in the government overhaul.  “We cannot allow this ‘Rosebud’ character to lead our country,” offers top 2016 donor George Soros.  “We are already becoming a joke to other nations around the world.  Placing this nobody into the greatest office in the world would be a travesty.  We’re on top of it.  She won’t ever sniff the White House.”

When we asked Rosebud whether she was a Democrat or Republican she indicated she didn’t know.  “I think I ran as an independent,” she continued.  “Honestly, I didn’t even remember I was an assembly person.  I think I’ve missed the last couple of meetings.  And I’m pretty drunk right now.”

President Trump is traveling in Saudi Arabia and could not be reached for comment.  Photos from abroad show Trump sporting a ravishing orangish red skin hue, confident as ever.


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